if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
