Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
my sisters under your porch take her home
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
birth control should be required to get into college
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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