You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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