belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Randomize
