Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
This beer is not sobering me up at all
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
