the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
