I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize