I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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