so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
