I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
