Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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