so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
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