dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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