Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
