used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Sorry about my life...
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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