And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
