I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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