Jerry, you need to find god
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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