I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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