she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
