I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
