So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I wish I only lived at night.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
