GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Randomize
