So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
well you can't waste a boner
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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