Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
is wine microwaveable?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
