Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Actions speak louder than pants.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
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