I think I am morally bankrupt
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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