But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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