After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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