why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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