At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
