I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize