She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
