call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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