Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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