i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
