He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
meet me or not, i'm out of control
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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