her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
