You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
