I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
