i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
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