i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
