thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
