would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
