So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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