Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
