I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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