i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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