38 yer olds are good kisserssss
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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