You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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