I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Never underestimate the power of titties
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
