I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Where is the hickey?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
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we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
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we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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