Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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