Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
