He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
