corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
3 2 1 whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
God, I missed his penis.
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