I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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