I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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