The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Quick, to the slutcave!
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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