I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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