how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
