Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
