i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
