tell your sister to shave her snatch
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
