god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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