I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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