Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
