dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
you inspire me to be a worse person
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
