im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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