literally had 100 drinks last night.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
