i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
So vagazzling was a success
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
