GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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