Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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