just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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