That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
