Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
