so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
