Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
