so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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