plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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